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Don't feel guilty if your grief softens


At first my grief was sharp and jagged. A casual comment, brief glimpse of a pregnant tummy or sometimes out of nowhere -- the grief would stab a little deeper or sting a little more.

I thought it would be like that forever. I thought I would never be able to enter the world again.

But as every day... every week passed... I noticed that the grief became the tiniest bit softer. And eventually, a little bit easier to hold. Still there. But not so sharp. It became softer.

And I felt guilty.

Some days I didn't want to heal because I needed the intensity of the grief so that I felt closer to my heaven baby.

But as I began to live my new normal within that softer grief, I became ok with it. It didn't mean I loved my baby any less. I didn't forget or "fix" my loss. But the grief changed.

And that's what grief does. It changes. It transforms. Some days it can feel sharper than others. But if it does start to soften, don't feel guilty. The love for your heaven baby remains steadfast. The grief just might transform & reshape a little. And that's ok.

written by Heather Butler

**Heather has written the book That Side of Heaven -- a valuable resource that offers community & hope to a momma who has experienced baby loss through miscarriage


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